Germans Outlaw Keeping Pets and Having Sex With Them, Pimping them Out… Really
In the porn business, whenever there’s mention of a “German movie,” it’s always done with a wink and a nod. “German movies,” you see, are an inside joke for the weird stuff. The REALLY weird stuff. Like all good jokes (as well as rumors, innuendo and life in general) there’s some truth to it.
Germany’s just outlawed owning animals for the purpose of having sex with them and other people. In other words, it’s illegal for Germans to, you …

Breaking: Generals Have Sex, Woman Has Porn Star’s Name!
If you’ve been following the news, you know that the presidential elections, superhurricane Sandy and the Justin Bieber sex doll all pale in comparison to the real crisis in America — former Gen. and CIA chief Davis Petraeus’ cheating on his wife with his biographer.
Seriously, the amount of coverage this story is getting is nuts. Isn’t there, you know, a war going on or something? The Onion’s satire put the whole thing in perspective with this (mock) story: “Nation Horrified To Learn …

Memoirs, Documentary Give Amsterdam’s Oldest Prostitutes Respect
Meet the Fokkens.
No, not the Fokers, that’s the series of movies that made people realize that even Robert DeNiro can call in a performance now and then. Louise and Martine Fokken are 70 year old identical twins who are acknowledged as being Amsterdam’s oldest prostitutes, who’ve released their memoirs and are the subject of a recent documentary, which coincidentally enough is titled, “Meet the Fokkens.”
In case you’re wondering, and I know some of you are, Martine still works. Louise, because of arthritis, does not. …

Porn IPTV Service Rears its Head on Smart TV Platform No One Uses
Hey, remember the mid-2000s? I remember it like it was seven years ago. Coldplay, Lost and Harry Potter movies?
The AVN Show was still packed and the new thing that was supposed to save the industry was IPTV. For those of you that don’t remember or don’t care to, IPTV stood for internet protocol television — it was a set top box connected to your  broadband modem that delivered porn to your TV. It also also supposed to be …

Jackie Curtiss, a Republican Don Quixote
Albert Einstein was supposed to have said that insanity was repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different outcome.
The corollary to this rule would have to be something along the lines of, “Don’t bang your head against a rock.” To illustrate this point, consider the story of 22 year old Jackie Curtiss, Young Republican. She was the youngest member of the platform committee of the upcoming Republican convention. While she’s anti-abortion, she does support access to the morning after pill and …

Sex Kills
Remember when you were in high school, and you had to be real quiet when you were having sex when the parents were home? Like it was a matter of life or death?
Scientists have found that you weren’t too far off target. Loud sex, it turns out, can kill — from the standpoint of insects, anyway.
Researchers studied a colony of bats in Germany (no, not to discover if they have the ability to turn mentally unstable people into masked vigilantes) and the flies they fed on. The flies rarely …

Sex is Good…for Athletes!
A common piece of advice to wanna-be Olympians has always been to conserve their precious bodily fluids, which is a euphemism for not having sex. Some athletes abstain the night before they play, and others follow a much more ridged, weeks-long avoidance of carnal pleasure.
It’s a belief as old as the Greeks who competed in the nude in the original Olympics, with luminaries such as Muhammed Ali saying he went six weeks without sex and 5000 meter runner Marty Liquori quoted as saying, “Sex makes you happy. …

Onanist with Toy Gun in His Ass Raises the Bar for Distracted Driving
It goes without saying that distracted driving is a problem. I’m not just talking about talking on a cell phone while driving, I’m not just talking about texting while driving and I’m not even talking about Tweeting while driving. (“OMG, 405 is a parking lot! LOL! #LAtrafficsucks” — seriously, who does that?)
I’m talking about masturbating while driving. But this isn’t the case of your usual flick of the clit or the usual case rubbing one out. A Florida …

EU Makes Sexy Video to Promote Women in Science, but Apparently People Don’t Want Sexy Women in Science
As someone who has a degree in music, I’m not going to pretend I know much about quantum physics, designing a computer chip or engineering a bridge. But I am more than willing to admit that there’s a dearth of women in the sciences, and that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have more female representation.
The European Commission thinks the same way and launched an ad campaign to encourage women to get …

Unhappy with Just .xxx, ICM Registry Tries to Snatch .porn, .sex and .adult
Remember ICM Registry? The company that succeeded in establishing the top level domain of .xxx that no one wanted? (Really, no one wanted it. Porn companies didn’t want it and anti-porn groups didn’t want it. When did you ever think those two would agree on anything?)
It seems the company’s business model remains to be finding a solution for a question no one was asking. The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), disclosed in a press conference …